So I spent the afternoon casually sitting by the river - some guy rows his inflatable canoe to the bank and proceeds to climb onto land. He has obviously experienced some sort of ‘deflation-leakage’ situation, as he chucks his soaked bags on to the shore and then attempts to get the water out of the canoe. This is the point I realise he has issues: both facially and mentally. He effectively puts the canoe on his head and tips the water back into his own face. It takes him some time to drain it. Then he cracks out the foot pump; an elderly couple approach him and ask if he’s having some sort of trouble…. ergh you don’t engage the mentalist. Now, confident with his new supporters, he puts the canoe back in the water, with his stuff inside and then launches himself at the canoe - misses - falls into the Thames. There is a lot of gasping before he drags himself out, successfully mounts the canoe and slowly rows away. For future reference - I don’t think the ‘belly-flop’ technique works when attempting to board a flotation device.